Diary of Mule & Ham

We bought a new recliner!

2008-03-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

We love our new duplex in Nixa!! It feels like a real house and it's so much more private than the apartments we have had in the early years of our marriage. We have a cute back yard and a garage... and I love the garden tub with jacuzzi jets in our master bathroom!

Although we love our new place and are excited about all the grilling out we will do in the Spring... I admit that our furniture does not fit this place! We have had used furniture from Salvation Army, Goodwill, and from someone who sold some stuff in the newspaper. Anyway... We have waited to finally get some really good, long lasting, solid furniture. Our old recliner had an arm that was only hanging on by the material attached. Our couch has a good pull out bed, but the couch itself is so old! The only durable furniture we have is our bed... it was an anniversary gift and it's a Simmons Beautyrest....the best on the market!

So, after 4+ years of marriage, we finally took some tax return money and went to La-Z-Boy and bought a really great recliner!!! It took awhile for Doug and I to agree on the one we wanted, but we finally found a great compromise. It looks a little masculine, but it's comfortable and with a few added touches, it will blend with our decor. We also found a couch and rug, but we are waiting until Mr. Bush sends the "economy stimulus" money out in May.

We also recently got 2 set of floor length drapes for our living room windows (we have 2 windows and a patio door off the living room). I am beginning to feel like our home is starting to come together. We have signed a 2 year lease, so I am liking feeling really stable here and making a home out of our pretty house.

As soon as I have them available, I will post some pictures. I have some neat Christmas pictures, but will wait til I have a picture of Doug and I to post them.

One more cool thing... we have had 2 friends offer us a free used grill... one is charcoal and the other is gas. Both are in great shape and perfect for us! I wonder which one we should take....

This spring we will also need to get a small push mower... I am actually excited to do yard work! I have a little spot near our tiny walkway for some flowers. I also might plant some herbs in the backyard. I have always wanted to plant mint, tyme, sage, basil, parsley, and maybe some cilantro. I can't imagine cooking and grilling with fresh herbs!

Hello old friends!

2007-08-26T14:26:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I sat down to write. Actually, it's been over a year. That is so hard to believe! I was just realizing the other day that I have been at my job for 10 months now and that just seems incredible to me. For those of you who have been a part of my life the last several years, you know that I have been on a journey of self discovery. I didn't know what I wanted to do and that's because I didn't really know who I was. I used the world of temp work to satisfy the bank account while I figured it all out. I found out there were things I was better at than others. Last October, I found the career I want to be in for a very long time. And it's not a temp job!!! It's a relief to finally know what I am good at and to have both the education and the skill set to back up that goal. Today I am a job placement counselor for people with disabilities and I am passionate about what I do, and what my colleagues do. I work for the non-profit organization MERS/Goodwill. It's the Missouri Employment Rehabilitation Services organization that merged with the Goodwill Industries here in Missouri. Most states have Goodwill.... but as far as I know, this is the only state that took the Goodwill mission and meshed it with the MERS mission. Check it out sometime. Once I get started talking about my career, I can't shut up. It's taken me so long to get here and I really love how good it feels to still get excited about my job every Sunday night as I go to bed. Sure weekends are good, but I actually like going to work on Monday mornings! I never thought I would say that.

Doug is also doing well. He has now worked for DMP (Digital Monitoring Products) for over 2 years. He is starting to check out IT jobs in the area as he gets closer to finishing his degree. I am so proud of him! We are praying for God's will as he pursues his techie dreams!

Both of us are in school. Doug is finishing his AS degree in Computer Science as of April 2008. I am finishing my BA degree in Business Administration close to the same time. I have been in college for almost 10 years, having changed majors 3 times. I almost changed it again recently to get my degree in Human Services instead of Business Admin, but truthfully, I am just too tired to extend it anymore. My grandfather once joked that I was going to be a professional student. I would just take the teasing and say, No, one day I would be done. Well, I am so very very ready to be done!!! I did transfer back in January in order to strictly take online classes. I chose a college that let me take human services electives, and that is helping me in my career.

I have come Business Finance homework to do, so I had better cut this short. Good to talk to you all again! I hope to keep up better. No guarantees!

I want to dance!!!

2006-07-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, for all those of you who feel that dancing is wrong...you don't want to read this post. I say that out of respect. Why?

Because I want to dance! Not the raunchy hip hop dancing....but ballroom dancing, jazz dance, and contemporary dance (very lyrical in style). I have always danced. Mom and Dad didn't know it. It was in my bedroom on Saturday nights while listening to easy listening. It was the only time as a child that I felt "free". I would twirl and lunge and stretch and feel amazing! Mom would make her way downstairs to do laundry and I would hear her slippers on the concrete. So I would turn down the music and jump onto the book or into a chair with a book.

Silly to admit this now except that I still want to dance. I miss how freeing it is! I have dealt with this "demon" for a long time, knowing how my parents' and their church felt. But I have to say, people danced for joy in the Bible. They danced for their God! David talked about it all the time. I know it was old testement...but when Jesus taught the New Testament, He never said to not dance. The apostles taught modesty and self discipline, but I don't think that showing joy and freedom in dance is wrong if modesty is upheld. Here is where so many feel its wrong...because your leg might show or a curve might be more obvious. To me, that means the one noticing and thinking wrong thoughts needs to be held accountable. If the purpose of the dance is pure and the dancer is doing their best to maintain modesty....then I believe its ok.

Anyway, after Doug and I talked about it.... I am going to look for a ballroom dancing class. We might even take it together. I am so excited! I have always loved the grace, freedom, and beauty of a choreographed dance!!! To dance like Ginger with a man dancing like Fred Astaire! Wouldn't that be marvelous?

Wheeee!!!! I am dancing in my living room tonight!

Just a quick note...

2006-07-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

Lots has happened since that last entry. I didn't realize it had been so long since I had written.

Doug and I went to GA to visit my brother and his family and my sister and her family. They both had a new little baby in the last couple months. Being a devoted aunt, it was my duty to go distribute many hugs and kisses and presents.

I cuddled babies Kaylie and Chloe all that I could and spent time playing and spoiling my other neices, Brenna and Olivia.

We all had a grand time together. Lezlie hosted the sunday dinner (did quite well with her cooking! She's come a long way since stovetop mac and cheese!) and Paul's came to join us. Then on Monday, we all went to the Augusta science museum. That was so much fun. The guys became like boys again. The children did their best to have fun and eventually we were scrambling to find things for them to do to keep the boredome away. I have some great pictures of their Uncle Doug playing with them and reading to them. Brenna and Olivia are used to being around big men...their daddy and Graddad is big...so Doug didn't scare them at all. It was a relief because Doug loves children so much.

Coming home was hard. I missed them the moment we left town. However, we had to go home and earn more money so we could go again.

Nan (my dad's mother) had a mastectomy due to a breast cancer diagnosis a couple weeks ago. The good thing is that she is doing well and has kept her spirits up. The doctors are fairly sure they got it all and are going to continue some testing every so often. I had hoped that this disease would escape our family, being that it is genetic...but unfortuneately, that didn't happen. So, Lezlie and I are going to have be more careful about getting exams.

Doug passed his first anniversary with his job. It was a proud moment for him. He got his first raise and after the last couple years of changes, this was a big deal. I am so proud of him! He also finished his GED class with flying colors and is planning to take his GED exam soon. Please keep him in your prayers.

My job is going ok too. It's a bit unstable in that one boss keeps making sudden impulsive decisions. She's not sure about what direction her company is taking, so it could impact me eventually. However, I also work for her husband and do all of his data entry. I don't see that ending anytime soon. He is the easiest to work for in that he is dependable and stable. As long as I do a good job, I will have employment, I am sure. Still, its a chaotic thing to not know how long this job could continue. They keep acting like it is still just a temp job. Please pray about this too.

The 4th of July was a fun day. Doug and I went to Seymour, MO to visit his folks. His older brother had all kind of fireworks and they had a hayday out there making noise and merryment. The younger nieces and nephews were just lapping it up. I guess boys will be boys. I still struggle with the noise of fireworks. I hate the sounds of gunshots and it gives me some anxiety...especially in a surprise round of popping. So I stayed in doors some of the time. The best part of the 4th is all the great food (don't laugh!). We grilled and had watermelon and Helen (mother-in-law) made Strawberry Shortcake, a favorite of her children.

Helen has been doing better. We as a family have prayed for her a lot. Her physical ailments are still there, but she seems more determined to get around anyway. She hadn't left the house in over a year! Not even to the bank or grocery store. We knew it was a matter of mind over matter, and sure enough, one day she just got up and went shopping in a neighboring town. She has since gone shopping, out to eat, and even done some of her own errands around town. Jerry (father-in-law) tells us it blesses him and he has begged the Lord for this healing. Keep praying!

Well that about does it for now! Take care!

Drama in the Family!

2006-05-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

This past week has left me wanting a way to get some stuff out. There has been drama in my family. Let's see....let me just jot down the events...

*I got a new job that I love (so far)

*My dad had a stress test and a heart catherization out in VA and I couldn't afford to go out there and it was crazy stress on me.... "What if he has to have open heart surgery?!" "What if something happened to him and I never saw him again until Heaven?" So scary! He turned out to be fine and the doctors still aren't sure why he is having chest pain and fatigue.

* My "baby" sister had her first child... Kaylie Joy Horst was born April 26 and is a beautiful baby! They have since gone home from the hospital and are doing well. She seems healthy and Lezlie is healing. I haven't gotten to see her because she is in GA and I am in MO! Ugh!!! I hate this long distance thing!

* My sister-in-law is on strict bedrest due to her baby trying to come into this world too early. I would love to go to help her out with her other two girls, Brenna and Olivia. Again, the whold distance issue is a pain!

* My mom is about to graduate her CNA studies and is making all A's. I am so proud of her! She has had to continue school even when her daughter was giving birth and her husband was going through his heart drama. Her focus amazes me sometimes. I would love to go out and see her on her graduation day, but again....the distance issue.

Ok...well that was pretty much it.... I guess the actual stress is that I feel very disconnected from my family. It used to be that I was close by, and still emotionally disconnected. And that is still the truth on some levels...but it's getting better. The older I get, the more I want to see them and be a part of their lives. For instance, I didn't get to go to any of my sister's bridal showers last year. I also didn't get to go to any baby showers this year. That is so tough! I only have one sister and it's all over and I can't redo it!

I know that many people feel the words "You should have known..." or "I told you so" rolling on their tongues. I don't regret moving to MO because I met my wonderful husband and I love him so much! Doug is my safe place...my gravity. He is a gift from God to help me navigate this crazy world. Loving him and marrying him was the best thing (outside of accepting Christ's salvation) that I ever did. But being so far away from my family just plain stinks! We keep talking about moving out east one day. Doug actually wants to. But the cost of living out here is less then out there and what we pay in rent now is a drop in the bucket compared to what we would pay out there for the same square footage of house or apartment. Hmmm... In a lot of ways, I have had some distance to think and heal over some very painful wounds. Now that they are healing, I want to go home and enjoy the people who I know now love me very much.

Ok...my whining is done. I instead will focus the energy on inventing a teleport machine!

Praise the Lord!!!

2006-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

We wanted to take a brief minute to let you all know who were praying that we got the apartment that we were praying for!!!! I have more details, but want time to really think them out and write them when I have the time.

In this process, we learned a lesson in humility and truly looking for God's will over our own!

We think we've found it!!!

2006-02-06T05:39:00.000-08:00

Doug and I think we've found an apartment with a great floorplan and affordable rent. We covet all of your thoughts and prayers. We've submitted the credit application and will know by Tuesday if we were approved. It's scary, but we are hoping God's will includes this apartment. If not, please pray for grace for us as we continue looking. I will update with more details if we get this place.

The Great Apartment Search

2006-01-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

Admist the school, work, church, and various social things... we are also looking for a new place to live. We love our tiny one room apartment, but we need more space! We want a spare room for family to visit and we would love an actual dining area. We also are tired of the laundry mat and ready for our own washer and dryer (which we bought in faith that we would get the right apartment with hookups).

So off it was to the races! We have looked at townhouses, apartments, duplexes, and even some rental homes. Every time we think we have found the right place, something prevents us from getting through the process. This last time, we were approved, but they wanted too much money upfront, and they changed their story three times in one week! We felt that although we loved the apartment, we couldn't trust the management. It's such a scary, risky process.

Our dear friends, Duane and Melinda are keeping our washer and dryer for us in their kitchen (they have a big kitchen and a place to put them!). They claim they are holding it hostage so that we move close to them...and as much as we would love to, there are no available places to rent there at this time.

People all over are telling us to try to buy...but our credit is far from ready for that!!! Too much debt and not enough big payments...so we are still working on that.

So, for those of you inclined, please pray for our search. We recently went with Metro Housing, an agency that helps you get into the rental you want. They pull your credit once and use it for 2 months to submit to multiple places...so its less hits and more options. We feel a lot safer there. Not to mention, they don't get their commission til we finally move in somewhere, so they are on our side!

A Small Update

2006-01-17T11:16:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to apologize for all the mispellings and even the occassionally missed word in that previous entry. I was feeling hurried and had a lot to say. As usual... LOL.

I also wanted to let you know (those who care), that Doug and I now work for the same company. I had been working for a payday loan company and felt shame every time I told people. I was told they were trying to hire ethical people to help improve the reputation of this nation wide company...only to find out later that they wanted me to "learn to lie better" when doing collection calls. I couldn't claim the name of Christ and make money doing deceitful things...so I applied for a job at DMP, where Doug worked and was given a position in customer service. We love working for the same company. We have the same schedules...including every sunday off (the plant is closed on sundays). We are saving gas in our car, eating lunches together, and feeling more connected. Not to mention that I love what I do. If you are interested in DMP, feel free to check out their website... www.dmp.com

Hope to hear from some of you soon!

The Shortest Long Trip

2006-01-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was a blessing for Mule and myself. We had the privelege of going out east...back home for me...and seeing my family.

The trip out of Kansas City to Chicago and then on to Raleigh/Durham was extremely scary. The winds were strong, and there were rain storms...but we held on as the plane dipped, bumped, and shook. We finally got to walk into our hotel room at Raleigh and sleep, awaiting the ride to the coast with my parents (who were coming from VA and through Raleigh).

My granddaddy died two years ago. Before he died, he poured what was left of his energy into building the local community center. He loved fellowship and loved his friends and family. The locals of the coastal town, Marshallberg, loved Granddaddy very much and wanted to dedicate the community building in his memory. They claimed that the reason they hadn't finished the building until now was that they had lost their "Straw Boss". So, it took longer....too many indians and no set chief, I suppose. So, this weekend, family and friends gathered in the tiny building to remember this wonderful man who had made such an impact.

The building was simple but pretty. Pictures hung on the walls and in the corner was a blanket covered frame. The moderator said some nice things about Granddaddy, as did a few others and then they uncovered the frame. It was a plaque that had Granddaddy's picture on it. It was beautiful. He was wearing a worn out shirt and his baseball cap was crooked on his, as it ALWAYS was. He had a smile on his face and was looking off to the side at something...supervising we were sure! The engraved plaque read his name and the dedication. The room was quiet all except for muted sniffles and the blowing of noses. Teary, red eyes were being rubbed all around the room. When the moderator got back his composure, he asked that we all go outside and they were going to raise the flag for the first time in Granddaddy's honor. So we all trooped outside. It had begun to rain and it was a windy, cold night. Yet, it was beautiful. We could hear the boats bumping and the water sloshing in the harbor.

Directly after the flag flying, we all walked across the road to the harbor and they revealed a new sign that read the history of the harbor. The town is desperately trying to keep developers from buying the land. They are a stubbor, valiant lot of people...but some of the neatest people I have had the privelege of meeting.

Before, during, and after the dedication, people nibbled on the snacks and visited. We were regaled with stories of what it was like to work along side of Granddaddy. I cried and laughed at the same time once and awhile.

After the dedication, my folks, Doug, and I went to Nan's (my grandmother) cottage to visit with her. She wasn't feeling her best, so we didn't stay long. We left to stay the night at a local bed and breakfast. The rooms were lovely and the breakfast in the morning was really good. My mom and I particularly found the china and the antiques pretty...some more "interesting" than pretty...but nice, none the less.

After a breakfast visiting with other family staying there, we packed up and went to say goodbye to my grandmother. Then my folks, Doug, and I left to head toward's the Raleigh/Durham airport. This time, the trip was uneventful. We loved it! Doug was quite nervous about flying after Friday's experience...but it was good. We had to then drive back to Springfield and got home around 2am CST. We were exhausted. We feel God drove that last leg of the trip.

This morning, we got up and went in to work...a bit late, but our managers were more than forgiving. We are so thankful to work for a company where family events are taken seriously.

That is what I meant by the shortest longest trip...shortest time span...longest amount of miles on the least amount of sleep. Still..more than worth it. I only see my family 2 times a year if I am lucky...so any time I get to see them and hug them...I feel more than blessed!

Take this note for all of you who live close to your family...hug them and tell them you love them.

A Long needed Update

2005-11-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone who still checks our blog from time to time. I was inspired by reading my brother, sister, and dad's blog to send out a quick update.

Since we work daytime and go to school nights, it is a discipline thing to get on here and update, but its something I need to do. I was recently thinking about how hard people who settled the western frontier had it. They didn't have phones, email, or blogs to update their families out east. We have all these conveniences and it makes me think that we don't always use them to stay connected to family...in fact, sometimes it causes us to disconnect. I won't get on a soapbox, but when we use modern technology for selfish gain and not as a way to connect to people, our priorities should be evaluated. I am speaking to myself as well as anyone reading.

So what has been going on in our lives? Well lets see....

We are in our third quarter of school. We go two nights a week for four hours each night. Doug is taking English Comp 2 and Algebra. I am taking Statistics and Report Writing. Both of us feel a bit overwhelmed, but we are sticking to it. We feel we have good instructors and know that if we maintain discipline, we can do this. Everytime I feel like we can't keep up the pace, I think of my sister and her husband. Vernon is pre-med and going full time as well as working and building a marriage. It makes me realize that I don't have it as bad as it could be. Doug and I love going to school together. We can encourage each other because we know what the other is going through.

I am working for a nation wide loan company and Doug is still with a company making wireless security systems. Both of us like our jobs and though there are times we are tired of the constant work and study, we feel blessed.

We just came through our second anniversary Oct 16th. Two years! Its hard to believe, but we are more in love today than every before and love spending time together. To commemorate our anniversary, we went to a painting shop and each painted a ceramic plate together. I knew Doug was talented, but his artistic streak was a surprise. He made a beautiful plate for our coffee table. I love it! When we get a digital camera, we will post a picture of the plates. They both turned out pretty.

That night, we also went to eat at a famous Japanese steak house here. We sat next to a couple traveling through the area and got to chatting with them about where all they had been. When our dinner (which was quite entertaining!) ended, the couple surprised us and took our bill and paid it. They said it was an anniversary gift to us and to keep the faith. We were speechless!!! The man and his wife were about the age of our parents and it almost felt like something my dad would have done. It definately was a day and night to remember.

We won't be able to come home (out east) for the holidays and that is hard for me. With both of us starting new jobs this past year, we don't have any vacation time built up yet. However, we have full intention to go to at least one of the family reunions this next summer. And of course, I have to go see my sister after she gives birth to another wonderful neice or nephew!

To all who read this update, enjoy the season. Look around and see your family and friends. How much more important are they than earthly treasures. Spend time with them and value that time. I miss my family and friends on the east coast every single day. I have a great marriage and a wonderful church...but it doesn't always numb the pain of missing those I love out east. It does give me more awareness of how important those people are to me though.

Be blessed! Mule & Ham

God is just so very good!

2005-06-05T17:53:00.000-07:00

I want to publicly thank the Lord for His provision. I am so pleased to say that Mule has obtained a full time job working the same shifts I am....and now we have our weekends and evenings together! I am also working full time and so our financial trouble is hopefully on the way to bettering itself. As long as we are careful, we should be fine.

My sister gets married in 2 weeks. That is so hard for me. I am so happy for her and yet, its sad because there won't be a time when we can just make "sister" plans without taking into consideration our husbands and schedules. I guess the innocense of childhood is completely behind me. Deep down, its pitiful to hold on to that since she is in VA and I am in MO...but still, its the realization that my little sister isn't little. She is an adult and about to enter the world of marriage. Its a wonderful world full of adventure and yet, sometimes its scary and stressful and you wonder how your parents did it. I know she will be fine. Her husband is a pre-med student. When he finishes school, their life will be set. She will be married to a doctor. Isn't that what a lot of women want? Married to a doctor (or lawyer) and living in the suburbs. I can see her life now with at least 3 children.... being a perfect mom.

I sound jealous, don't I? Well, I'm not. I am happy for her. I love my husband just as he is and we are building a life and its a great life.

If anything, I am jealous about the wedding and all the family embracing her husband. I gave that up, you know. I didn't have a wedding, or bridal shower, or housewarming. My husband didn't ask my hand in marriage from my dad. I didn't get my father to walk me down the aisle. I am so sad when I realize I have only 3 pictures from my wedding day. One in the courthouse and 2 outside the courthouse.

Of course, I would never ask my parents to give me anything. It would be unfair. The way Mule and I handled things, we don't even deserve a "congratulations". Expecting or asking for a bridal shower or pretty wedding or housewarming would be pretentious. No, I wouldn't think of it. Still, there is a little girl inside of me sad because I didn't get the fairy wedding and wedding stuff that builds memories.

And yet, many women get that beautiful wedding and end up unhappy and jealous of other women. I am not. I love my relationship with Mule and he is a wonderful, loving husband.

This rambled a bit didn't it?

Back to the original message of God being good.. We want to thank all of you for praying for our job situation and that God also allowed us both to be able to still go to my sister's wedding despite new employee status. He is a good God indeed.

The Saga of Mule and Ham Continues...

2005-05-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

I am very aware that I haven't blogged in quite some time and I ask your forgiveness for that. I don't like to blog when I feel a complaining spirit inside of me and felt that I should wait til I was in a better frame of mind.

You see, I no longer work for JPMorgan Chase (otherwise known as Bank One) and since this is a public forum of journalism...I feel hesitant to explain the circumstances. You see, a lawsuit wouldn't help me at all at this time! Those of you who are close to me know the circumstances behind this and have been on board with me praying and encouraging me. For that I am most thankful. The real frustration is that I am not employed anywhere...yet. I have gone on a multitude of interviews and they have all been quite well. I have heard extremely good things and then I would go home and "hurry up and wait". I have 2 temp agencies fighting it out for who will get me hired first and that is a good thing I suppose. I am just in a "mood" of frustration and extreme humility. I am begging the Lord to take care of us and help us make ends meet. I came from making $2600+ a month to almost nothing.

Good news.....Mule has a job!!! Working for the local Subway and he hates it. Well, he understands he has to start somewhere and he said if it was just the work he wouldn't mind..but his managment is "all in the family" and if you aren't family....lets just say its not the easiest job in the world. Pray for him. He is also looking for work doing something industrial or in electronics or in retail for electronics and video games. I want him to feel fulfilled, so its important to me that he is ok with his job.

I am also working out 3 days a week at Curves. I love them! I get a student price since Mule and I are both students and its affordable. I felt I needed a healthy outlet for stress relief and its better than shopping! Today was my second day and I am actually enjoying the muscle tension to a certain extent. It gives me something to think about besides the lack of income.

School is going well. I am really into my one business management class. I am working on a business plan for a coffee house and its been fun and yet, so chaotic. I am learning so much and loving it! I have a great teacher and so far I have done well in my tests and papers. The other class is one Mule and I have together. Its called Strategies for Success and its geared around the returning student; teaching good study habits and testing techniques. I am in it for Mule...for support. I could have tested out of it since I already have a college degree..but he wanted us to take at least one class together. From now on, we will have separate classes.

So that's it folks! Please pray for us in this difficult transition. I am told I have two job offers coming that would both start soon, but no phone calls guaranteeing that. So please pray.

Much love to you all!
Ham

Money Management and Suze Orman

2005-04-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

Becoming a woman who is budget-minded never used to be a forte of mine...but that is changing. When I got married I made a resolve to be an asset to my marriage and that meant getting a handle on managing money and have a plan to do the right thing whether we had money or not. This has had so many twists and turns since I got married, but it's still me resolve.

Recently, Mule and I have had so much going on. We financed a car (as you have heard over the past several posts), we got a small credit card (a first for me in over 5 years since I have the FICO score that scares people), and we got a computer financed. This means that hard work is paying off and people are willing to start trusting us. Or...well, trust Doug anyway. I am an authorized user on everything he has. This helps me of course, but this isn't enough. I want my credit report and score and financial statements to show me as a steward of money.

It used to be that I just wanted my family (mom, dad, siblings, and church family) to see me as responsible. And when I was holding down a stable, good paying job...I made sure they were aware. But interestingly, my entire outlook on life improved when I looked over my budget and realized we were living within our means. Now with new things financed, Mule and I are afraid of anyone wanting to pull our credit reports since there has been a lot of activity, and honestly, I have paniced a bit. What if we did the wrong thing? What if what looked like a blessing wasn't? How would I know? Would it be damage we could repair or was I headed for the poorhouse again? (I've been there...so not fun!)

Then I found Suze Orman and I have been a loyal fan every night of the week for over 2 months now. She is amazing. I just love her good sense, and she keeps it real for my generation. For any young adult...single or married... you need to get her book "The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke". She has a passion on how to help my generation get ahead financially and she presents the action plans in ways that are not intimidating.

I have come a long way since the day I would throw bills away because they were scarier than the Jaws movie.... that was over 5 years ago. I now look forward to bills since I know its something I can handle and I have a budget I am keeping and every dime is accounted for. When you pray for wealth, remember that God can only bless you with what He can trust you with. Are you trustworthy? I haven't been in my past...but I am learning how to be trustworthy and what God is looking for in a steward. Its a daily battle and there are times I have to step aside and check myself. Recently, after carrying a credit card for almost 2 full weeks, I gave my card back to my loving husband to keep for awhile. I want to be more accountable and it was getting easy to go to Walgreens for cough drops and walk out with $40 of stuff that we didn't "need". Hmmm... yep, reality checks are easy and when I see failure, I am harder on myself than any family member would be. Yet, giving the card over to my loving husband to help me stay accountable and to "check in" with the emotions driving the shopping is much more fulfilling over the long haul.

I am doing a lot of self searching these days. I hate my job....but I am staying anyway....is this wise? Some say yes, money is good and the job market isn't. Some say change...fulfillment is more than money. I am following some sage advice from money guru Suze Orman and while staying employed, I am looking around for other options and doing some personality and career testing to see where I should be and what might be an appealing job that I would get excited about.

Regardless, this is where I am in our financials. I know it was a rambler...but I thought you might like it if I checked in.

Heather

Blessed Again!

2005-03-31T22:16:00.000-08:00

Ok... I know we shouldn't brag. So I won't. What I will tell you is that Mule and I get affirmed in our faith almost each day it seems. There for awhile, I felt we were begging the Lord each day for something new. Interesting how when we stop begging and bargaining and instead start just focusing on living out lives in His Will how things begin to work out. Of couse we have to do our part and be open to change, seek His purpose for us, and be willing to sacrifice... but in the end, its so much easier to just wait on Him! (As if he needs our bargains anyway!)

So here goes a bit of updating for you.... Mule and I moved in our new home a bit over a month ago and the first big pleasure was when we realized that we were living within our means and paying debts and bills. I love pulling out the budget and seeing us on target. Its the most satisfying feeling. Of course, we had yet to do anything to help us build credit...but I knew it was coming in God's good time.

And then, our leased car died. Well, not died really. It actually just started to get hot and smelled like burned residue or rubber. Mule's father came over and informed us (he being a mechanic, along with Mule's brother) that we had a multitude of issues with our "rent to own" car. We knew the driver door didn't open from the inside, and yes, we knew the tires were soon in need of replacing...but this was more of an immediate issue. We had gaskets to replace and brake pads to replace and some other gizmos he was concerned about. Mule nor I are any good with car stuff. I barely know where to put oil in and where the battery is located! So dear father-in-law lovingly told us to perhaps be willing to take a risk and give back the rented car and try to get financing on something of value and let our bucket of bolts (It really was and had high mileage too! We were paying out the nose just to have it!) go back to the dealer and seek other alternatives.

Financing! Whoa. I have bad credit...well, I should say "poor" credit. Its not a thing to brag on and its something I avoid talking about. Mule has a decent score, but isn't working full time...so I knew that we had a problem! The next day, I contacted the dealer to see if we could upgrade...to no avail. He told us that we should put the money into fixing the car. Gag. Still, I was open to it if it was cheaper solution. Then, father-in-law called us. He put a word in someone's ear where he worked at a GMC dealership and found a sales person who thought he could squeeze a deal worth going for. With no expectation, we went to the dealership and began to see how big our God is once again!

It started with a meeting with a business guy who put our sad little numbers on paper and then stepped away to do some magic. Then he sent the salesman out with a set of keys to go try out a couple cars. I stopped him in his tracks and said, "We don't want our hopes up. Please don't sell us on a car that we won't be able to finance or I will just cry." He said it was not an empty effort but that he wanted to make sure we liked the car. (He just had no idea how desperate we were because if it was anything better than what we had...it was worth it...but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him.) So Mule and I tried the first car... a 2004 Chevy Malibu. Burgundy. With only 30,000 miles! And still under waranty for another 9000 miles! Whoa. It was beautiful. The steering was tight. The brakes were smooth. The seats were comfortable and it was sleek. They had another just like it in silver, but it had higher mileage, so we were content with the burgundy.

When we stepped back into the office, my heart was a bit peaked. Don't get your hopes up! I would scream internally! So we put in an application for financing and when an angel named Drew walked up to us and smiled and asked us how a payment of $288 per month sounded, I started to cry. It was less per month than what we were paying for Bucket of Bolts. Mule put his hand on my knee and told Angel Drew that I had been on the short end of the credit stick for so long I had given up on being approved for anything. He told us that Capital One financing believed in second chances. I looked at him and said, "God believes in second chances....its a daily lesson for me."

That day, we drove Bucket of Bolts back to the dealor and shook his hand. Mule had a bit of mild fun stating the numbers for the Malibu and I had to slightly elbow him to stop him. We were blessed to get the Bucket a year ago and I have learned not to burn bridges.

Now is the whole issue of sales tax to deal with and what insurance company to go with, but its worth it. The insurance is working out better than I expected. So far, I am getting some good quotes and I am still investigating. Sales tax is still looming at a whopping $670...but I know that God worked this miracle out and He is still working. I am just open to creative financing and ideas...not to mention, I can eat Ramen Noodles as long as necessary to sacrifice. Driving in the Malibu puts it all in perspective.

We are even entertaining the idea of driving to my sister's wedding out of state versus flying since we now have "dependable transportation". This is a serious first for me. All through college I have always had a Bucket of Bolts.

Praise God with us! Here are a few pictures of the new car as taken off another car sales website. Its identical to our new wheels.

Since we have yet to learn how to attach pictures directly to our blog, look at the below blogs to see the pictures. And due to my lack of experience, scroll down through the pictures and start with the fourth one down and read up. Indeed, I am learning as I go!

May God richly bless you all with the kind of grace, mercy, and enduring love we have experienced lately!

2005-03-31T20:14:00.000-08:00

Yet another view... and although these seats look leather or vinyl..ours is material. And again, no brown trim. Ours has black. Other than that..pretty close.

2005-03-31T20:13:00.000-08:00

There is no brown trim inside, its black in our car where this is brown...such as on the doors and on the dashboard. But other than that...

2005-03-31T20:12:00.000-08:00

Yet another view

2005-03-31T20:11:00.000-08:00

a clone of our new car

Proud to be Southern!

2005-03-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

For any who may think that southern jokes are discriminatory and rude...please skip this post. I happened upon a few southern jokes while cruising around the internet and some were too funny. This is my sad attempt to post something for this week...you'll have to excuse my writer's block. Enjoy the laughs!

"Yankee on Vacation"

A fellow from Boston was in Louisiana visiting family. One day he decided to take a walk around the area where his relatives lived to enjoy their fine, comfortable southern way of life-- something he was not accustomed to, being from the north.

While walking he happened upon a pit bull attacking a small child. His instincts took over, and he ran to the child's aid. He grabbed the dog, pulled him from the child, and choked the dog until he was dead. As the dead animal lay at his feet, a man came running over from the other side of the street.

He announced that he was the star reporter for a big Louisiana newspaper, and he would make the rescuer famous. "LOUISIANA MAN SAVES CHILD FROM GRUESOME DEATH," the headlines would proclaim.

The would-be savior thought that this sounded great, but explained that he was from Boston -- not Louisiana. The next day the headlines of the Louisiana paper read: "YANKEE KILLS FAMILY PET." *** www.allthingssouthern.com***

"All Things to All People"

Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would be Romeo, asked, "What type of man attracts you?"

"I've always been drawn to Native American men," she replied. "They're so in tune with nature."

"I see," the man said, nodding.

"But then, I really go for Jewish men who put women on a pedestal and I can hardly resist the way Southern men treat their ladies with such respect."

"Please, forgive me for not introducing myself properly," said the man. "My name is Running Bear Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba." *** www.allthingssouthern.com ***

"Rednecks in the City"

Back before Christmas a redneck family was visiting the city, shopping in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the mother picked up a few necessities. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together.
"Paw," the boy asked, "what's 'at?"

The father responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like it. I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father watched with amazement, a fat old lady waddled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady stepped between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up. As it reached the last number the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma.... " *** www.allthingssouthern.com ***

Frozen Chicken and a Lesson in Judgement

2005-03-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

My husband is a remarkable man. He has a knack for finding just the right way to show me just how much he loves me. While looking for a job, he has recently taken on more of an active role in our home. Despite my objections, he does the laundry, cooks suppers, and washes dishes. (Yes, ladies, I object because as much as I love being spoiled...I don't want him feeling he has to earn my love and respect. He doesn't. However, he says he does this out of love, not out of duty.)

The other night was just such a night. He had asked what I had planned for supper and I gave him a detailed recipe for a simple baked chicken and rice. He also agreed to cook one of my favorite veggies...lima beans. Now, I leave for work around 4:30pm and come back for my lunch hour around 9:30pm. He had agreed to get supper started around 8 so that it could bake a full hour. I called him from work to check on him and he was almost giddy with how pleased he was with supper.

So at 9:30 I come home and smell baked chicken in the hall outside the apartment door. It smelled fantastic. I smile with anticipation. I walk in the door and Mule asks me to shut my eyes while he leads me into our tiny, galley kitchen. I open my eyes to see a wonderfully baked chicken and rice and a bowl of buttered lima beans. It looked perfect! My mouth was watering as I opened the fridge to get the fresh brewed iced tea he had also prepared for supper.

It was there I saw it. The pre-defrosted chicken quarters he was to have used in the baked dish. I looked up at his cherubic face.

"What chicken did you use honey?" I watched his smile quite literally fall as he took in what I was looking at.

"One of the bags of chicken from the freezer...why?"

"Well... um... then an hour wasn't long enough to bake the chicken. It was rock hard when it went into the oven and likely its not cooked all the way through, even if the skin looks right."

Oh I felt like a clod telling him that! He was devastated! I used a knife to pierce the chicken and sure enough, the center was still not quite done. Luckily we had a while together before I had to return to work, so we stuck it back into the oven to finish cooking and though I had little time to eat, all worked out. Mule, however, was quiet and withdrawn. When his mom called later in the evening, the first thing he told her was how he had "ruined" supper.

I saw what had happened and my heart almost broke. He was so eager to please...do do something I could be proud of in him. Not that I am not proud, but he had tried so hard. So, I took the instructions off the fridge and sat down next to him.

"Honey, where on this list does it say that you need to use the pre-defrosted chicken in the fridge?" I watched him struggle to make eye contact.

"No where."

"Exactly. Its not your fault. I didn't leave clear enough directions. I figured it would be assumed, but that was my problem, not yours. You followed each instruction to the greatest detail. You did everything right! You didn't know any better. How were you to know that it mattered if the chicken was frozen or defrosted?"

It sunk in. He got it and he smiled. And that smile was the biggest blessing of the night. He had done nothing wrong and his wife was proud of him.

I tell you this story to tell you this. I feel that as Christians we assume other Christians should get the same truth we get. We all read the same Word of God...but its interrpreted differently and at different speeds. What is understood and assumed in one Christian's life is a whole new truth in another...if understood at all. By no means is it ok to say that sin is ok just because there are people who don't know better. No, sin is sin. Just like not knowing frozen chicken wasn't to be used makes it anymore edible. No, it still had to cook longer so we could eat it. However, we as Christians need to be compassionate to the growth of others. We are to encourage and demonstrate truth as often as we can and be available for questions. When a young Christian doesn't agree or when they don't understand the depth or importance of what a more mature Christian understands, they are not any less a Christian. It just makes them less experienced. And in the moment we think we are more right than them or that we are closer to God than they are... we lose out on an amazing blessing.

That blessing is the truth that each Christian, young or mature in their faith, has something to teach. Judgement and pride are two characteristics that can wound in a split second and cause distrust. Interestingly Jesus calls us brothers and sisters.... God has no grandchildren! We are all on the same level in the eyes of God. Shouldn't we be with each other as well?

Another quick thought that came to mind while I was writing this. Just because someone is raised in a more godly sound environment, and just because they know the Bible backwards and forwards doesn't make them more of a Christian than someone who wasn't. Meaning... the chicken looked perfect, but in the center, it wasn't done. I know I have found myself guilty in the past of looking the part, and thinking I had people fooled, but knowing full well that I wasn't "done" in the center. Be willing to be honest and open about your weaknesses and shortcomings. This openness is more of a witness tha nwhat you might think to those watching and growing in their faith.

Final thought on this soapbox... there is a difference between discernment and judgement. Keep that division clear and your witness and relationship experience with other Christians (or anyone for that matter) will be that much more pure and your communication that much more clear.

Feel free to comment...

The Eye of the Storm

2005-02-25T00:54:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday night and I, Ham, have just gotten home from work. I work the late shift. Make that the late late shift. In fact, I don't finish my day's work til 2am. Before the great move, I was having to drive home a full 45 minutes. Oh my goodness, it was a draining drive and I was almost complete comatose when I would get home. Now, I am a full 10 minutes away and it is the most amazing thing in my life right now!

I was so impressed when at my lunch time, I went home and Mule had a wonderful supper prepared for myself and a friend from work. I am still amazed I could go home for lunch! We had beef stroganoff and green beans with fresh iced tea. Everyone seems amazed that my dearly loved husband loves to do this for me. When I got home tonight, the dishes were done and the freshly washed laundry was put away! We have been praying for a job for him...but for now I am reveling in my loving husband!

I guess what this rambling is to say is that the whirlwind has calmed and life is moving on. Mule and I are like two newlyweds. We love the fun of setting up our new place. Mule teases me by saying he likes watching me "nest". Little things make me happy...trying out my new broom for the first time... baking brownies in my new oven..... taking a bubble bath in my new tub....

Of course there are the little quirks to get used to. Such as... Forgetting there were no curtains yet and streaking to the bedroom for some more appropriate clothing... Having a street light outside out bedroom window... Waking up and not remembering where I am... These have all happened!

Thanks all of you for praying! Mule and I do ask your continual prayers for his job search. Also, my commission payout (additional to my usual base salary) is changing due to a company merge. For this reason, we will need his income source sooner than we thought. God knows this and I refuse to buy into the devil's doubting. As of yet, we have no internet at home...but will have soon Lord willing. We consider this a must have due to family across the country...so don't give up on us...we will be keeping up with email and blogging as best as possible.

The Whirlwind

2005-02-19T11:15:00.000-08:00

Wow. This morning I woke up in a dead panic. There are two things to recognize here. First, I actually woke up in the morning! (I work third shift for a major credit card company). Secondly, that I woke up completely overwhelmed and literally felt like I was in the middle of a terrifying whirlwind. Granted, that could partly be due to having only part of my head functioning due to a sinus cold refusing to shake loose...but mostly this feeling was from the fact that as of 2 days from today, my husband and I are moving to live in a place of our own for the first time since we got married.

Now, understand... when I was in college, living on my own was a blast! I love it. Yes, I lived on Ramen Noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...but I was on my own! Life was good! I went to class, worked my two part time jobs, and pretended I knew what it mean to be on my own. I laugh at that now. Because now I am married and have a real job with a real husband with a real life...and I am more scared today than ever.

Up until this weekend, Mule and I have lived with his parents for obvious reasons. We had rushed into marriage and neither of us had a full time job at the time. However, now, I had held a full time job for nearly a year and it was proving to be profitable. I was getting caught up on bills and had even bought a car. Mule has gone through physical therapy and is also now looking for a job (leg injury kept him unemployed for awhile). So everything looks like the right time. In addition, when the apartment came available, we had been praying as well as our church and family. Everything literally has just fallen into place. I knew that if the apartment complex approved my credit for us to live there...then it had to be God's will! That would take a miracle in itself!

Still... why am I feeling so overwhelmed? I know its the right time. The money is right. We can afford it. We will be closer to church. And Mule is confident that he can get better work in the big city. And yet... when my life seems to be the most steady and things are going well... I am the most fearful.

Maybe its because before no one seemingly was depending on me. Maybe its because for once, I actually care if I fail or not. Maybe its because I love my husband more than I ever loved myself and I want him to never regret taking risks with me. And maybe its because nothing in my life has ever completed in a way that could be said it was successful. And I can't afford to lose here...

This is the picture of the whirlwind I'm feeling. Mind you, Mule is aware. He is having his own crisis. We are both trying to be emotionally strong, telling each other that if God is for us, who can be against us. So if I know this is right...why won't my stomach be still?

We need you to pray for us as we make this transition. I expect there to be tough times...but I want it to be worth it.

A Couple of Individuals

2005-02-18T02:23:00.000-08:00

When two people marry and are the best of friends, they feel they will always want to do everything together, right? Well...for awhile anyway.

Today Ham prepared for her day at work wondering how this issue had even come up. And why was she so stressed over it? She knew she trusted Mule and she knew Mule trusted her...so what was the issue here?

The issue was that one of them didn't want the other just opening and reading the other's email. Supposedly it was not because they were doing anything wrong, but rather that it was just something they wanted left that was "theirs". In other words, so much of their life was shared, couldn't their email still be just their email? And if the spouse pursued this issue and put their foot down that there should be no territory off limits...were they not trusting their spouse? And if the spouse not wanting their email public...were they allowing a foot in the door for Satan?

The issue was finally solved that if the one spouse asked and had a valid reason, they could access the other's email. However, the ultimate question was never solved..... is it ok for a couple to still be individuals in their marriage? Is it ok to have a life outside of the marriage? Hobbies, social life, email or letters just for them?

Ham went to work and the whole way she pondered this question. Oh how she wanted a good and solid relationship from day one! She wanted a relationship where trust wasn't even discussed but understood as the only option. She wanted to know that Mule would never wonder about her when he wasn't around and knew that he wanted the same trust about her. So far, neither had done nothing distrustful. She knew because they had discussed this inside out! However, they also did not have a life away from each other. They went to church together, had the same friends, lived with his family (so far), and they knew everything about each other.

So why was this an issue today? Why did the one spouse feel that they had a right to have email that wasn't for the other to see unless first asked? Agreed, respect is key. And the spouse said they never would have read the email without permission...but it was the fact that one spouse would never care if their email was read by the other...and the other spouse had concerns about sharing in this way.

We are wondering if there are any other couples out there who have struggled with this issue of being individuals as well as a couple. Where did you draw the line and how did you decide? Is there scripture that should be a key to this? Obviously we want God's truth in this. Care to share?

The Origin of Mule and Ham

2005-02-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a newly wed couple who met via the internet and eloped in a Missouri couthouse a bit over a year ago. Since then, this couple who seemed to agree on everything found out a more consistent truth...they rarely agreed on anything. This begins the story of Mule and Ham. You will get to know this couple very well...but for now, lets just clear up the mystery of where these names came from.

The Missouri state animal is the mule. Some call Doug consistent, stable, and dependable. Heather would call him stubborn. Therefore, Mule he will be. And if you met Heather, you would find that the Virginia Ham would be a fitting role for her to play. She is equally stubborn, loves to laugh, finds comedy in just about everything, and very proud of her eastcoast roots. You would also find her in a bit of a mud puddle in her life more often than not.

We welcome any and all comments. The intent of this blog is to be at times comedic, insightful, and who are we kidding...stress relieving. Share with us!

So when they came together to compromise on a name for the blog and their username...it was no easy task. Heather wanted to sound spiritual and thought DailyHumbled would be a great display. Doug, looking over his past year or so and thinking of some recent decisions thought LeapOfFaith was a better name (more on why later). When they realized how much they were "kindly and respectfully" disagreeing.... their Mule and Ham traits became more and more prevelent. After much laughter at their attempts to sound profound, they humbled themselves and took a leap faith and adopted the true names of Mule and Ham. Hopefully, the more you read, the more you will identify with this young couple as they learn what it means to be married and how daily they seek God and His mercies in their lives.